Roliga Texter

Roliga Berättelser
Roliga Citat
Roliga Listor
Övriga Texter
Annons
Och här kommer vår hjälte Chuck igen
Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.  * Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
      
    * Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.
      
    * MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
      
    * Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
      
    * Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
      
    * The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
      
    * Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
      
    * It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
      
    * Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
      
    * Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
      
    * Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
      
    * When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
      
    * Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
      
    * 182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
      
    * Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
      
    * All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
      
    * If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.
      
    * July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not.
      
    * Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
      
    * In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"