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Stupid-Criminal Hall of Shame del 3


Florida: Dr. John Rende, a 38-year-old Florida dentist, agreed to allow two brothers to cut off a finger with an axe and claim it was an accident. He collected a $1.3 million lump-sum settlement from one brother's homeowner’s policy, and filed under his own disability policy as well. Rende used some of the money to buy a yacht, which he named "Minus One." He and his brothers pleaded guilty and are currently in jail.... (Excerpted from Erie Insurance Group's "In Sync" magazine.)

Hagerstown, MD: Jeff M. was caught driving while intoxicated, and was promptly arrested by Maryland's finest so he could have some private time to sober up a little. As he was leaving the police station, however, Jeff decided to "thank" the arresting officer for services rendered by dropping his trousers -- while facing the officer -- and making a gesture which would probably be understood by, say, Divine Brown. :-) Jeffy was promptly arrested *again*, and charged with indecent exposure.

(The following are all excerpted from "USA Today," Tuesday, 9 Apr 96; the "USA Today" article was, itself, excerpted from the book, "Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest," by John J. Kohut and Roland Sweet. (Penguin Books))

Vernon, British Columbia: Raymond Cuthbert dropped by a drugstore to say that he and his accomplice would be back in 30 minutes to rob the place. On time for their appointment, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police arrested them.

Sao Paulo, Brazil: Psychiatrist Oscar Dominguez was listening to a patient talk about her sex life when he pulled out a gun and shot her to death. As he explained to the court, "I just couldn't take those nut cases anymore."

[Editor's Note: I assume it's now *his* turn on the couch.... ]

Rouen, France: Moments after robbing a bank, Jules Duprer jumped into a car, shouting, "Get away quick, before the cops come." He failed to notice that the car he was counting on to spirit him to safety was a *police* car.

[Editor's Note: These last two aren't criminals, per se, but have nonetheless attained such impressive heights of stupidity that they warrant inclusion here. ]

(Location Unknown): A gentleman awoke one cold morning and found that his car would not start; the problem was a frozen fuel line. No problem for Mr. Brilliant -- one need only warm up the gas, right? So he siphoned off the fuel, put it into a pot, took it into the kitchen and heated it up on the stove....

Washington, D.C.: In 1994, local businesses paid their quarterly tax payments using pre-printed address labels provided by the city. The unopened payments were returned to the senders, with the notation "Box closed for non-payment of rent." The city had failed to pay the $405 annual fee.